Children have ideas about behaviors, activities and toys that go with gender. From their very early years they are quick to classify gender based on the external and cultural stereotypical gender identity like: Boys don’t have long hair, only girls’ play with dolls, boys are strong, daddy cannot cook, only mommies change diapers and so on. These typical and acceptable gender roles may differ from culture to culture but nevertheless children learn them in their very early childhood years within their families and communities and can continue these beliefs into adulthood. Living in a multicultural community, I am aware of such male and female gender expectations that adults practices and teaches. Media and marketing influence today’s children about what it means to be a boy and girl, about the nature of sex and sexuality and limits children’s definition of gender and sexuality to primarily on appearance. Boys are often the action heroes and girls the damsels in distress. Violent games target boys and sexual imagery to sell products to girls. Such bias related to gender can limit children’s learning behaviors.
Sometimes these biases can become so dreadful that it can surmount to homophobia. Heterosexism pervades nowadays in much of the societal customs and institutions. Without realizing it we may often keep our children, be it our own or the students we teach, from moving outside their assigned gender roles. I have noticed how I myself have sometimes unknowingly perpetuated such biases. For example, when I had a boy student who insisted on choosing pink color every time for his coloring, how I encouraged him to try other colors as well or when my son picks up Dora or hello kitty ball at the store, how I make him put that back and give him a Spiderman or cars ball instead. I know that just because boys color with pink or play with balls with Dora print on it does not make them homosexuals, or transgender. But I also know that encouraging and guiding children on the right track from their very young age can enable them to develop their fullest range of abilities and skills needed to succeed in school and life.
This attitude probably stems from my cultural ideologies and intergroup relations. Being from a Christian faith and believing that homosexual behavior is a sin and is against the will of God, I find it difficult to agree with many leaders and specialists from a range of sociocultural backgrounds who considers homosexuality to be a normal variant of human behavior. And therefore I also find it inappropriate to include gay and lesbian equity issues in the early childhood curricula. Moreover, such homosexual issues is neither seen nor heard in the community I live in and so I find it irrelevant for such inclusions. Since invisibility erases identity; I don’t feel as an early childhood educator I should initiate such a thought into the little minds. Especially when early childhood teachers have a profound effect on children, through curricula and pedagogies, issues made known and issues kept silent can influence the young children’s perception of diversity and difference, gender and sexual orientation. Considering homosexual as normal and introducing it into the early childhood curricula would only ultimately produce a world of more transgender, lesbian and gay people.
As early childhood educators we have the responsibility to support all children in their development, pay attention to the diversity and equity in relation to gender identity, and check ourselves to make sure we do not perpetuate bias unknowingly, so that we can lay a strong foundation in children for healthy relationships in the future.
Favorite Quote on Childhood
Saturday, March 23, 2013
Friday, March 1, 2013
Farewell
As we have come closer to the adjourning stage of our masters program, it feels difficult to say good bye. When I stared out this distance online classes, I was unsure about a whole lot of things – how I would manage my studies along with my daily responsibilities, how I would interact with colleagues I have never seen or know personally, how would my colleagues perceive me and so on. But I must say, I was lucky to be in a group that made me ‘fit in’ right from the start. You made me feel accepted. Every one of your posts, comments and feedback were a source of support and encouragement to me. As I reflect on my learning experience, I would not have been able to journey thus far without your support. I thank you all for helping me grow and learn to be a better me and a better early childhood professional. As we separate our ways to each of our specializations, I wish you all the best as we continue on our professional path. God Bless!
Saturday, February 16, 2013
Adjourning
One person alone cannot accomplish much. Only when people get together through their collective efforts can they make a significant impact. Therefore, higher the value of commitment to the common vision and achieving specific goals, stronger will be the relationship between the team members and harder will be the adjourning stage to say good-bye.
When I consider the different groups I have been involved in, I think the VBS (Vacation Bible School) group that I get involved with is usually the difficult group to say good-bye. We have VBS every year during the school holidays. Though it is only a five days event, team members connect with each other and become interdependent. This is mainly because their primary motivation is neither profit nor pleasure but the clearly defined common goals. It is the powerful vision that keeps us a team to move ahead through challenges, and change with more confidence. As a result we become a closely knit group, that the separation and thought of the event having come to an end brings sadness to each of us.
At the end of the five days we have a reflection time where we reflect on the five days, our accomplishments and failures and what and how we could improve the following year. We end with a prayer of thanksgiving and part ways hoping to meet each other again the following year. Working well on any team generates energy and enthusiasm for life. It is this energy and enthusiasm that helps us stay motivated and look forward to VBS each year.
The group of colleagues I have formed during this master’s program is another group I have come to closely relate with. We have grown in our learning together, respecting each other’s contributions that our unique experiences and backgrounds have brought to our discussion and blog boards. As this program will come to an end, and it will be time for our adjourning stage to say good bye, I am sure it will be a difficult process, as my colleagues has become my extended family to me. I have valued all my colleagues valuable support and will surely miss as I move on independently. Nevertheless, I would take the opportunity to say Good-bye and wish each of my colleagues best of luck as they pursue their next endeavor.
Adjourning stage in teamwork is essential as it looks at the team from the perspective of the well being of the team – celebrate their success and evaluate their shortcomings - so as to motivate the team and lift their morale for future success.
When I consider the different groups I have been involved in, I think the VBS (Vacation Bible School) group that I get involved with is usually the difficult group to say good-bye. We have VBS every year during the school holidays. Though it is only a five days event, team members connect with each other and become interdependent. This is mainly because their primary motivation is neither profit nor pleasure but the clearly defined common goals. It is the powerful vision that keeps us a team to move ahead through challenges, and change with more confidence. As a result we become a closely knit group, that the separation and thought of the event having come to an end brings sadness to each of us.
At the end of the five days we have a reflection time where we reflect on the five days, our accomplishments and failures and what and how we could improve the following year. We end with a prayer of thanksgiving and part ways hoping to meet each other again the following year. Working well on any team generates energy and enthusiasm for life. It is this energy and enthusiasm that helps us stay motivated and look forward to VBS each year.
The group of colleagues I have formed during this master’s program is another group I have come to closely relate with. We have grown in our learning together, respecting each other’s contributions that our unique experiences and backgrounds have brought to our discussion and blog boards. As this program will come to an end, and it will be time for our adjourning stage to say good bye, I am sure it will be a difficult process, as my colleagues has become my extended family to me. I have valued all my colleagues valuable support and will surely miss as I move on independently. Nevertheless, I would take the opportunity to say Good-bye and wish each of my colleagues best of luck as they pursue their next endeavor.
Adjourning stage in teamwork is essential as it looks at the team from the perspective of the well being of the team – celebrate their success and evaluate their shortcomings - so as to motivate the team and lift their morale for future success.
Saturday, February 9, 2013
Conflict Resolution
I think it is coincidental that such an assignment should come up at this time. Because it was only one month back I had an issue with my principal. I have been working for the past 9 – 10 years and never have I had any disagreement with anyone. Maybe the reason for this is because I never used to communicate my hurt. Since culture and conflict are linked, I guess it is my cultural values and beliefs to have a cordial relation with everyone that makes me avoid conflicts.
However, this time I could not keep quiet. I am therefore partly responsible for the conflict that arose. Let me explain the scenario. What happened was my assistant helper for this academic year is a young woman from my state in India. She has only high school education and is not very fluent in English. She can communicate in English, but with me being from the same state she would rather communicate in our native language instead of struggling in English. Now in our center, we have Filipino helpers who speak among themselves their language, Sri Lankan helpers who speak their language and Arabic and French teachers who speak their respective language among them. My principal is a Lebanese. And therefore she speaks French and Arabic to respective teachers. It so happened last month, she overheard my helper come to me and speak to me in our language. Immediately, my Principal came up to me and said “no speaking in Indian”. I was suddenly hurt. I felt my identity was being insulted. It just didn’t seem fair when this rule didn’t apply to the rest of the center that it should apply to us. Why, because we are Indians? I was provoked, that it brought out strong emotions in me which made me comment “then no speaking in Arabic and French here.” I cannot still believe that I said that. Maybe it was my newfound knowledge about culture and identity and how important each one’s identity is or maybe having been a witness for some time to how my helper is treated unfairly when compared with the other helpers that triggered me. I don’t know. Anyway, I said it and my principal was taken aback. She did not expect such a comment from me. Nothing was further said about it. There was no argument. But she stopped talking to me. Unproductive conflicts can have negative impact on the relationship (O'Hair, & Wiemann, 2012, p.220). This is what happened in our case. We have had a good relation until then. But after this one incident, there was a gap between us.
Being an escapist, I tried to avoid clarifying things until last week when she brought up the matter with me. I tried to justify how my feelings were hurt. However, since power dynamics play a role, she pulled her rank by saying “no matter what you feel or what you think, you have no right to say to me the way you did, because I’m the principal”. This time I did not speak up. I decided to allocate power (O'Hair, & Wiemann, 2012, p.244) to her in order to resolve the conflict.
Though things are getting better between us, such a conflict could have been avoided had I used the nonviolent or 3R approach. I should have been honest about my feelings, express openly how hurt I felt instead of coming up with a statement that caused such a conflict. ‘Differences of opinion and clashing goals are inevitable in any relationship.’ (O'Hair, & Wiemann, 2012, p. 223). It is how we approach and resolve these kinds of situations that matters.
O'Hair, D., & Wiemann, M. (2012). Real communication: An introduction. New York: Bedford/St. Martin's.
However, this time I could not keep quiet. I am therefore partly responsible for the conflict that arose. Let me explain the scenario. What happened was my assistant helper for this academic year is a young woman from my state in India. She has only high school education and is not very fluent in English. She can communicate in English, but with me being from the same state she would rather communicate in our native language instead of struggling in English. Now in our center, we have Filipino helpers who speak among themselves their language, Sri Lankan helpers who speak their language and Arabic and French teachers who speak their respective language among them. My principal is a Lebanese. And therefore she speaks French and Arabic to respective teachers. It so happened last month, she overheard my helper come to me and speak to me in our language. Immediately, my Principal came up to me and said “no speaking in Indian”. I was suddenly hurt. I felt my identity was being insulted. It just didn’t seem fair when this rule didn’t apply to the rest of the center that it should apply to us. Why, because we are Indians? I was provoked, that it brought out strong emotions in me which made me comment “then no speaking in Arabic and French here.” I cannot still believe that I said that. Maybe it was my newfound knowledge about culture and identity and how important each one’s identity is or maybe having been a witness for some time to how my helper is treated unfairly when compared with the other helpers that triggered me. I don’t know. Anyway, I said it and my principal was taken aback. She did not expect such a comment from me. Nothing was further said about it. There was no argument. But she stopped talking to me. Unproductive conflicts can have negative impact on the relationship (O'Hair, & Wiemann, 2012, p.220). This is what happened in our case. We have had a good relation until then. But after this one incident, there was a gap between us.
Being an escapist, I tried to avoid clarifying things until last week when she brought up the matter with me. I tried to justify how my feelings were hurt. However, since power dynamics play a role, she pulled her rank by saying “no matter what you feel or what you think, you have no right to say to me the way you did, because I’m the principal”. This time I did not speak up. I decided to allocate power (O'Hair, & Wiemann, 2012, p.244) to her in order to resolve the conflict.
Though things are getting better between us, such a conflict could have been avoided had I used the nonviolent or 3R approach. I should have been honest about my feelings, express openly how hurt I felt instead of coming up with a statement that caused such a conflict. ‘Differences of opinion and clashing goals are inevitable in any relationship.’ (O'Hair, & Wiemann, 2012, p. 223). It is how we approach and resolve these kinds of situations that matters.
O'Hair, D., & Wiemann, M. (2012). Real communication: An introduction. New York: Bedford/St. Martin's.
Sunday, February 3, 2013
Who Am I as a Communicator?
When examining and evaluating my own communication and listening styles, dispositions and skills using the Communication Anxiety Inventory and Verbal Aggressiveness Scale (Rubin, Palmgreen, & Sypher, 2009) and Listening Styles Profile (Rubin, Rubin, Graham, Perse, & Seibold, 2009) revealed, that
My level of communication anxiety is mild.
My level of verbal aggressiveness is moderate, and
On listening styles I am a people oriented person
Our behavior generates feedback from others. Therefore, getting my colleague and my husband to assess me using the same measure helped me to judge my performance. Both my husband and my colleague rated me as:
Moderate on the Communication Anxiety Inventory (Rubin, Palmgreen, & Sypher, 2009) with a score of 48 and 47 respectively,
Moderate on the Verbal Aggressiveness Scale (Rubin, Palmgreen, & Sypher, 2009) with a score of 64 and 61 respectively which was similar to the way I perceived myself, and
On the Listening Styles Profile (Rubin, Rubin, Graham, Perse, & Seibold, 2009), they again agreed with my judgment about myself being more of a people-oriented type by putting me in the group 1 category.
It was surprising how our self-presentation and self disclosure speaks volume about us. Both my husband and my colleague agreed that I get concerned over some communication context which was similar to my perception. I feel more confident in one-to-one situations and somewhat uneasy in a larger group. I am able to converse comfortably with a person I do not know very well as well as with a person I just met whereas when speaking in public, I am more tense and apprehensive. They too have observed that complex and technical information are a challenge to me and that I would rather prefer information in an orderly and efficient way. They have also noticed that my communication skills in noticing others emotions and being considerate to their feelings. When situations arise where I have to argue, I make it a point to attack the facts and not the person.
Learning about myself, assessing my strengths and weakness as a communicator through self-evaluation and based on the feedback from others has helped me to evaluate my expectations, execution and outcomes in my communication. It has helped me to be more aware and conscious of the need to develop my knowledge and skills in communication. I have realized that in order to improve my communication skills I need to:
1. Self-monitor the situation more effectively, by monitoring my self-presentation and the people involved.
2. To be more sensitive to feedbacks regarding my abilities, knowledge and talents so that I can incorporate such information better.
Effective communication depends on our perception, of our understating of the diversity around us and realizing that each one is unique with their unique variables.
My level of communication anxiety is mild.
My level of verbal aggressiveness is moderate, and
On listening styles I am a people oriented person
Our behavior generates feedback from others. Therefore, getting my colleague and my husband to assess me using the same measure helped me to judge my performance. Both my husband and my colleague rated me as:
Moderate on the Communication Anxiety Inventory (Rubin, Palmgreen, & Sypher, 2009) with a score of 48 and 47 respectively,
Moderate on the Verbal Aggressiveness Scale (Rubin, Palmgreen, & Sypher, 2009) with a score of 64 and 61 respectively which was similar to the way I perceived myself, and
On the Listening Styles Profile (Rubin, Rubin, Graham, Perse, & Seibold, 2009), they again agreed with my judgment about myself being more of a people-oriented type by putting me in the group 1 category.
It was surprising how our self-presentation and self disclosure speaks volume about us. Both my husband and my colleague agreed that I get concerned over some communication context which was similar to my perception. I feel more confident in one-to-one situations and somewhat uneasy in a larger group. I am able to converse comfortably with a person I do not know very well as well as with a person I just met whereas when speaking in public, I am more tense and apprehensive. They too have observed that complex and technical information are a challenge to me and that I would rather prefer information in an orderly and efficient way. They have also noticed that my communication skills in noticing others emotions and being considerate to their feelings. When situations arise where I have to argue, I make it a point to attack the facts and not the person.
Learning about myself, assessing my strengths and weakness as a communicator through self-evaluation and based on the feedback from others has helped me to evaluate my expectations, execution and outcomes in my communication. It has helped me to be more aware and conscious of the need to develop my knowledge and skills in communication. I have realized that in order to improve my communication skills I need to:
1. Self-monitor the situation more effectively, by monitoring my self-presentation and the people involved.
2. To be more sensitive to feedbacks regarding my abilities, knowledge and talents so that I can incorporate such information better.
Effective communication depends on our perception, of our understating of the diversity around us and realizing that each one is unique with their unique variables.
Saturday, January 26, 2013
Communication and Cultural Diversity
Living in United Arab Emirates, where the expat community is more than the local population, I have been exposed to cultural diversity from my very small age. We are used to seeing different ethnicity on the streets, hear different languages in the super markets and relate with different nationalities at our work places on a daily basis.
Since, our thoughts, our gestures, our actions and reactions, the very way we perceive, reflect our unique experiences with our culture, the way we perceive or how we respond may not be the same way others perceive or respond. Therefore on a daily basis, I am obliged to apply different communicating skills with the different people I come in contact with.
When communicating with people who are not fluent in the English language I try to speak in very simple English, avoiding big phrases and complicated sentences.
When I communicate with my older uncles and aunts, I avoid speaking in English and speak in Malayalam, my native language so that they feel comfortable and at ease in speaking with me.
My Bangladeshi cleaner boy who understands and speaks very little English puts on a smile on his face throughout his communication with me. I get irritated with his nonverbal behavior and communicate with him with a straight face without any expression ignoring his smile, using more non verbal skills such as gestures and body movements coupled with basic English words to communicate and put the message across.
In my early childhood classroom, I am exposed to different parenting styles. Some of which I personally do not agree with. I try to in a very subtle way explain to the parents without offending them or exert my values over them.
These are just few examples of the different ways I communicate with people from different groups and cultures. But culture has a wide range. These past two courses, have taught me that culture extends beyond the color of the skin, is deeper than what we see on the surface. Our emotions, our behavior, parenting styles, lifestyles are all related to culture. Based on my learning, I realize the need for more understanding than just recognizing external symbols like holidays, festivities, food and clothing to become an effective intercultural communicator. Especially as an early childhood teacher being a member of a diverse society, it is important for me to communicate appropriately and effectively with a wide variety of individuals. For this purpose, I would need to:
- Understand other’s perspectives, their practices and values better by looking at the situation through their eyes.
- Withhold judgment at the first impression and allow enough time to understand them.
- Be more aware of nonverbal behaviors. Realize that nonverbal behaviors are different across cultures and in no way is my patterns of nonverbal behavior any superior to others.
Friday, January 18, 2013
Nonverbal Communication
We communicate with many tools other than language. For this assignment I decided to watch a short comedy called ‘No Offense’ first with the sound turned off and then watch again with the sound turned on, to examine variety of actions such as gestures, tone of voice, body language as well as all aspects of physical appearance that would intentionally or unintentionally signal meaning through behavior other than words.
The short 4:23 clip starts off with two guys, one black named Dale and the other white named Peter, meeting up at their mail box. As they converse with each other, Dale looks puzzled at something Peter said, but the conversation goes on and everything seems fine. I gather from the scene that they are friendly neighbors because they seem to exchange a pleasant conversation with smiles and pat on the shoulder. Later that day they meet up again at their trash can. From the expression on Peter’s face and mannerisms he looks confused about a DVD he has in his hand and Dale seem to question him on it and pointing to the DVD seem to make comments on it. Again they part with a friendly smile and acknowledgement. Even later that day they meet up on some social networking site. Peter messages to Dale ‘No Offense’. Now I am left puzzled here. Because I do not know what has been going on and why Peter send Dale that message. All I can observe is Dale seems a little taken aback. Next we see Dale at the front door of Peter with a knife in his hand and a plastic bag with furry something sticking out. Peter seems upset with the content in the bag. Though they exchange some serious bit of conversation, nothing seems to be amiss here because they laugh and part ways. Next we see them on the phone with each other. Though they seem to exchange words with stress, they are laughing loud and I therefore assume they are having a friendly conversation. However, in the last scene, peter is standing on top of a red car (which I assume is Dale’s) and is hammering it. Seeing this Dale looks shocked and goes to the backyard of (I guess) Peter’s house and pulls down his pant to ‘poo’ on the lawn which frustrates Peter. At the end of this clip with no sound, I am left confused why what started out to be friendly exchange between neighbors turned out to be hurtful at the end.
After turning the sound on I was totally surprised to find out I was totally deceived. Although I was able to interpret some of the non verbal communication correctly, I was in for a surprise for the most part of it. Though they were all smiles and their facial expressions and body language seemed to convince me that they are friendly with each other, they were in fact insulting each other all along and having a laugh at it. Since I had never watched a ‘No Offense’ clips before nor have heard of such practice, the turnout of events was totally a big surprise.
The short 4:23 clip starts off with two guys, one black named Dale and the other white named Peter, meeting up at their mail box. As they converse with each other, Dale looks puzzled at something Peter said, but the conversation goes on and everything seems fine. I gather from the scene that they are friendly neighbors because they seem to exchange a pleasant conversation with smiles and pat on the shoulder. Later that day they meet up again at their trash can. From the expression on Peter’s face and mannerisms he looks confused about a DVD he has in his hand and Dale seem to question him on it and pointing to the DVD seem to make comments on it. Again they part with a friendly smile and acknowledgement. Even later that day they meet up on some social networking site. Peter messages to Dale ‘No Offense’. Now I am left puzzled here. Because I do not know what has been going on and why Peter send Dale that message. All I can observe is Dale seems a little taken aback. Next we see Dale at the front door of Peter with a knife in his hand and a plastic bag with furry something sticking out. Peter seems upset with the content in the bag. Though they exchange some serious bit of conversation, nothing seems to be amiss here because they laugh and part ways. Next we see them on the phone with each other. Though they seem to exchange words with stress, they are laughing loud and I therefore assume they are having a friendly conversation. However, in the last scene, peter is standing on top of a red car (which I assume is Dale’s) and is hammering it. Seeing this Dale looks shocked and goes to the backyard of (I guess) Peter’s house and pulls down his pant to ‘poo’ on the lawn which frustrates Peter. At the end of this clip with no sound, I am left confused why what started out to be friendly exchange between neighbors turned out to be hurtful at the end.
After turning the sound on I was totally surprised to find out I was totally deceived. Although I was able to interpret some of the non verbal communication correctly, I was in for a surprise for the most part of it. Though they were all smiles and their facial expressions and body language seemed to convince me that they are friendly with each other, they were in fact insulting each other all along and having a laugh at it. Since I had never watched a ‘No Offense’ clips before nor have heard of such practice, the turnout of events was totally a big surprise.
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